Women at work and their tips, challenges, advice, complaints, and experiences

Wonderful list. Much wisdom.

That's only 12. ;)

And I don't *do* children or cars or people management. I think it's rather sexist to say that all women should know how to do the first thing and as for the other two, some people just don't want to deal with the hassle.

Thanks, Tina. Hope you liked the list.

J. Lynne: Oops, you're right! I deleted one by mistake while editing. Gotta put it back in! Thanks!

As for #1 being "sexist" - I totally disagree. As a woman who lived single for quite some time, then married, then as a single mom, and now married again, I have found it very much to my advantage financially to know how to perform routine maintenance on my vehicles. Why on earth should I pay Jiffy Lube $40 or $70 to do an oil and filter change when I can do it myself for $20 or so? Besides, wouldn't it be MORE sexist to expect only men to perform maintenance on my vehicles FOR me? Isn't that putting me in the position of being held back and unable to provide for myself?

Additionally, it's very nice that you don't have to "do" babies or people management...for now. But if you ever want to help a friend, as I said, it'd be darn handy to know how to hold a baby for a girlfriend or colleague who has her hands full and is trying to grab something else...or to have some management skills should you ever be placed in a position where you DO need to "do" people management. Comes in darn handy for hiring and firing contractors for home improvement projects, small business sub-contracting, and a gazillion other things if you know how to deal with managing people, not just tasks on your own.

Tina: Thanks! Hope you liked the list. Looking forward to checking out your 13 post also.

J. Lynne: Thanks for catching my counting error - apparently I deleted one during editing last night! Eek! Need to add that back in, I suppose. ;-) As for #1 being sexist: how so? Wouldn't it be MORE sexist to say that only men should know how to do basic vehicle maintenance? Wouldn't that leave the money-saving option of popping a new air filter into my truck (which takes all of 5 minutes and $18) to the male mechanic down the street who would charge me 3x as much for labor alone, and at the "cheap" rate of 1 hour for a 5 minute job? Doesn't an ingnorance of basic maintenance leave a woman with fewer options, especially when not doing maintenance can cost her time and money if her car needs to go into the shop and she misses work and racks up a huge repair bill, simply because she didn't spend a half hour learning how to change (and then changing every few months) her oil and filter?

As for not "doing" babies, cars, or people management - you must be very lucky. I would have to be very wealthy to not have to "do" cars. During my days as a single woman, and later as a single mom, I saved myself quite a bit of cash "doing" car work on my own. I sure appreciated learning how to change a diaper and hold a baby when my then-best friend had her baby. Though I never planned to have any of my own (way back when! lol) it felt really good to be able to help her and her husband when they needed a break. And my management skills have helped me not only in the workplace but in dealing with contractors on a house, clerks in a store, and bill collectors on the phone. When one knows how to "manage people" one can apply those skills across the board - professionalism goes a lot further than you'd think. :-)

I didn't mean that #1 on your list was sexist, I was talking about the first in my list, which was babies.

Here's the thing, you would never automatically assume or expect a male friend would hold, change or feed your baby. However, the cultural stereotype expects me as a woman to have that natural instinct and desire to want to step in and do so for my fellow motherly sisters. Mind you, I did the whole babysitting thing when I was a teenager and I have friends who have young children, but I am not a natural and I don't have the motherly instinct. I also find it outrageous that in this day and age anyone would still assume that just because I have ovaries, I would and should want to and know how to hold, change, and feed a baby, AND that you imply it is somehow something that makes me a less competent woman because I don't wish to.

As for changing my oil and providing routine maintenance on my car, I value my time and I would prefer to use it doing something other than car maintenance, which I don't like. I also buy my veggies already chopped up, not because I can't do the chopping but because I don't want to and would rather use that time doing other things like reading, enjoying the day, watching a movie, or half a dozen other things. So I take my car to my mechanic and he takes care of all of my car problems while I'm at work, which leaves me with the rest of my life to do the things I enjoy.

As for people management, yes, I may have to deal with home contractors some day and such, but I don't have to deal with managing employees in a workplace as you described; I consider the two separate.

I find this to be an incredibly strange list because it's hard to decide if you're talking about what you think every woman should know or what every professional woman should know and if it's the later, then I have some real problems with why babies and car maintenance are on the list.

J.Lynne, I'm not going to debate my list. As I stated at the beginning, this list is just a few of the things "I personally feel" women should know. Frankly, I believe men should know them too.

I'm sorry you take such offense at this list, as though it were meant to denigrate women who don't know these things. And I'm glad you have the time and money to rely on the mechanic, buy pre-chopped foods, and the like. I, too, value my time. However, I don't have the option of relying on the mechanic all of the time, and I DO happen to enjoy working on my vehicles. I've also had plenty of times in my life where spending money for a trip to the mechanic or saving $50 and doing it myself (and thus putting food on the table for my daughter) was the choice. Whether I enjoyed doing the work or not, the choice was obvious for me.

I didn't babysit. I was an only child. I had to be taught (by a man, if that is shocking to anyone) how to change diapers and hold babies when I was in my 20s. If our culture assumes that everyone with ovaries has a mothering instinct, it also assumes that men have no clue what to do with babies or children. I've seen many a woman make that assumption and be utterly shocked by how capable the men in my life are with my babies - I've had it happen myself with my husband's best bachelor friend.

The point of this list was to bring up things that are handy to know - and they'd be handy for men or women. If someone chooses not to learn any of them, it sure won't bother me a bit. The fact that I've taken the time to do so is all that matters to me in the end. If it spurs others on to learn something new, good. If not, that's fine too. You can enjoy your movie, I'll enjoy my truck and its engine, and everyone's happy.

Hi Melonie

I didn't find this post inoffensive in the least :) and I don't have kids. YET.

Like you said, it is a personal opinion. Like J Lynne, I also don't choose to do the car stuff so I just skim over that. That's my choice :)

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I'm so glad you found me and that I found you too.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed Beth's post and the other posts you mentioned on my blog!

Hi Mel,

I was not offended by the list in the least. I am in TOTAL agreement! I'm a 28 year old, professional work away from home female. I've been married and divorced. I also didn't like children, nor did I have that "motherly instinct" to hold one. Ever. Never planned on having them. To each their own, right?

I would LOVE to save money by doing routine maintenance such as oil changes on my truck. Never learned how though, unfortunately. However, the mechanic who DOES change my oil is a CHICK at the local lube shop! ;)

Also I find it VERY helpful to know how to manage people, not only in my career, but also with hiring contractors to work around my house.

As to the babie's thing, well, I am now pregnant! That's right. Went from never wanting kids in a million years to being an expectant mother---and ecstatic about it! But even before that, I would help out a friend (girl OR guy) by offering to watch or hold their child. To me, that was just common courtesy! If a girlfriend and I went to the mall, with her kiddo's in tow, I had no problem pushing them in the stroller or giving the baby a bottle so she could snag a few minutes for herself to try on a new outfit!

And being pregnant NOW, I would TOTALLY assume that a male friend will hold, change, or feed my baby just as much as one of my female friends! That's what friends are for, right, to count on?! =)

Oh...one more thought...and because I DO work away from home, full time, in a professional career, it IS important to me to "use coupons, receive rebates, earn shopping points, and shop sales to save yourself cash, whether on the basics or on the vacation of a lifetime". If you aren't taking advantage of some of these offers, like Safeway Club Cardholders to save on groceries and gas--staples that EVERYONE needs, then you're just plain stupid! Because THAT money saved is more money to hit up Nordie's for another pair of jeans!! LOL ;) Or diapers. Or whatever is important to you!!